Sleeping Valor

I haven't completely read it yet (I have to go sleep =P) but the very first thing I notice is how squished together your text is. Try separating it a ...

Her hands rubbed each other now, blistered from contact with her spear. Only one question: blister=pain, so why is she rubbing her hand together!? o_O Doesn't that hurt?? Fallon sat ...

The night sky was black, and only a single thick cloud lit grey from a faint glow of a pale moon. The night sky was black, and only a single ...

Kaspar felt dizzy, and the boat shook beneath his unsteady feet, forcing him to sit down, lest he fall into the red, murky waters the the delta. I think that ...

Nice story. Automatically has my seal of aproval because the vampire is funny. *hugs vampires* Var var amusing. I have only one question... “You're a creepy bastard, you know it?” ...

The story looks good! It reminds me of the days when I used to roleplay alot. But you should be careful, if you'd really like this to look like a ...

To start: nice. Very nice. Loved it. I like to story and how you bring it out bit by bit until the picture is whole, like sculpting. Absolutely beautiful. My ...

They observed the rest of the family as scum but were too well trained not to say anything that involved anything that wasn’t about them. The way you wrote this ...

Some words of advice: be careful how you try to physically describe him. This is always tricky. All we know now is that his eyes are blue, and that didn't ...

Someone said that prologues are used to explain something that happened in the past, so perhaps Megium isn't the hero of the story, but a past hero (if that makes ...

It started off quite bland and confusing( this is probably cs you didnt describe his situation or destanation that clearly)but the more i read , the better it got , ...

*bows* Thanks for reading. It's been fun. ^_^ Keek out!

*bows* Thanks for reading. It's been fun. ^_^ Keek out!

I'm reading! I can wait. Glad to see you know where you're going with this. ^_^

Okie. I went over this and think I fixed all typos. Now working on revised version which is in a new thread (Blakdrealm I). Thanks for the crits. Always welcoming ...